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Guys, in your opinion what feels better, vaginal sex or anal sex??(r/sex)
My warm up routine is less vigorous then it was before I started anal play so I’ll give you both the advanced anal warm up and the how to get into anal play for beginners lesson.
My warm up:
Lube up fingers and massage the outside of my anus (after being turned on from having other kinds of sex). I typically use a gel water-based lube like Sliquid Organics Gel for this.
Insert this butt plug slowly while holding a vibrator on my clitoris to help me relax. I’ll wear this plug for at least 15-20 minutes.
Remove the smaller red plug in the link and insert a slightly larger and straighter plug with more lube applied. Wear this for 10-15 minutes.
Remove larger plug and apply silicone based lube (lasts longer than water based) to my asshole as well as my partner’s cock.
Have anal sex (a vibrator is held on the clitoris during this time to maximize pleasure).
Profit from orgasms.
It takes a good bit of work but its more than sufficient for me so that I don’t feel any pain from anal. However, since you are knew to this its going to take more work.
For getting into anal the first time you really have to start with lighter anal play. Anal sex itself is a pretty advanced form of anal play and someone who has never done anything to their ass is in no way prepared to really enjoy anal sex. To start just become accustomed to having your anus touched. This can be done by lubing up a finger and massaging the outside. Analingus is another great way to do this, just make sure you shower beforehand and wash yourself really well.
Try incorporating genital play with anal stimulation. The sensation is really weird to someone who hasn’t experienced anal stimulation before so you have to pair anal stimulation with genital play to help teach the brain to associate the anal stimulation with pleasure. A vibrator on the clitoris works well for women, or a blowjob/handjob paired with anal play works great for men.
When your partner is comfortable move on to inserting fingers. Use a lot of lube. The best lubes are thick gel water-based lubes, or silicone based lube. Water-based feels nice and is compatible with most toys. Silicone lube won’t be compatible with all toys but it lasts a lot longer so it works really well. NEVER use any “anal lubes” such as “Anal Ez” that have numbing agents. These are really dangerous since they numb you so you can’t feel pain. Pain is a sign that you are causing injury so by shutting of your body’s pain response you can hurt yourself without knowing. Anal play is NEVER supposed to hurt. If it is it means you are doing something wrong (not enough lube, not relaxed enough, going too fast etc.) and you need to stop and slow down.
If your partner can take one finger comfortably you can move slowly to two fingers or try using butt plugs. I highly recommend you get a good set of silicone butt plugs in graduated sizes. This is the one I use and its a great starter set. The first two plugs are good to start with (the last one is huge and I’ve never managed to accommodate more than 80% of it). Start with the first butt plug after having warmed up with fingers. Wear it for awhile and play with the genitals. Most people I know who like anal play have found that wearing a plug acts like a force multiplier for orgasms making them stronger.
When you have mastered the small plug you can try the medium. Always use a lot of lube and insert very slowly. Since the plug is tapered it works as a good training tool to help you learn to relax and voluntarily control those anal sphincter muscles. As a general rule of thumb the medium plug of this set is a good thing to wear for a bit before you take a penis of average girth. For a girthier partner you may need to work up to the biggest plug before attempting anal sex.
After you’ve done your whole warm up and you’ve become very accomplished at relaxing those sphincter muscles you can apply more lube and try anal sex. Make sure the receiving partner is in control of depth, speed and intensity. If that person says stop or slow down the penetrating partner needs to do so. As always stop if it hurts. Incorporate genital play if you can, by either rubbing the clitoris (or using a vibrator) or rubbing the penis if the receiving partner is male.
I hope this is a good guide for you to give things another shot. Best of luck to you and your partner. Feel free to ask questions for clarification if needed.