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Reddit, I’m an old man. Do all you young bucks nowadays really shave your junk and assholes?(r/AskReddit)
Tl;Dr OP delivers/is a faggot.
Haha, all right, I’ll tell you everything I know. First, get these:
First, shampoo your groin hair with the strongest shampoo you can think off. The drier and fluffier the hair down there, the easier this is going to be.
Second, use the body hair trimmer while in the shower to get all the hair everywhere as short as you possibly can without making yourself uncomfortable. If you want to start above the dick, then start there to get accustomed to how the trimmer works then work your way to all the areas you wish to tame. I also shave my gouche etc, it’s up to you. This will make the next part a lot easier.
Get some water and get it boiling hot. Then let it cool until you can touch it without seriously hurting yourself. The hotter the water the better but don’t burn yourself. Now take the brush and soak it with the hot water. Then swish it around in the soap until you build up a nice foamy lather.
Lather that shit on there!
Here’s the most time consuming part. You want to first go with the grain, shaving wherever you are first comfortable with. You want to use as small of an angle as you possibly can, I shave with the blade almost parallel to the skin. You do NOT push hard! It’s a light grazing! LIGHT GRAZING! LIGHT! You use the weight of the head of the razor that is ALLLL the pressure you need! If it isn’t enough pressure, increase the angle slightly.
EVERY time you pass by with the razor, you wash the blade in the water and apply new soap with the brush until you’re satisfied. This keeps the soap and hair from clogging the blades and cutting something or ripping out a hair.
Always switch sides of the razor with each pass. This ensures near uniform wearing of the edges.
After you have passed by everything going with the grain, do the same against the grain. After you’ve done that, I go perpendicular to the grain for a grand total of three passes. Always cleaning the blade after every stroke, always re-soaping until you’re satisfied.
After you’ve shaved everywhere, It’s supposed to take a long time! Hurrying leads to awful bloody cuts! Then you LIGHTLY apply aftershave. It will always burn some, but not as much as it normally would! You whatever aftershave you have on hand.
For the balls, stretch out the skin as much as you possibly can and DO NOT APPLY PRESSURE! The same goes for the skin on your shaft if you have hair there.
Finally, baby powder that bitch! This will ensure you stay dry and clean and fresh all day!
At first, it will itch. There’s no avoiding it. After you’ve shaved down there maybe 6 times, the itching will reduce until you don’t notice it. ALWAYS USE A FRESH RAZOR! They’re like less than 8 cents a piece, that’s worth not having to worry about bleeding all over the inside of your pants!
And that’s how I shave.
For those of you who don’t have the time but still want to get the job done, here was an insightful post by reddit user: OftenStupid
Disclaimer: If you wish to ritualize some portion of your life, the above is wonderful and I can see how it would be very satisfying. However, If your goal is to shave your junk:
I’m with SuccumbedtoReddit, the guide reads like it was purposefully written for hipsters. What the fuck, a brush? a FUCKING BRUSH? Old-school decapitate-yourself razor?
Please, just get a decent razor like you would for say another part of your body that you do not wish to mutilate like say….ummm.. your face.
Use some warm water, you’re in the fucking shower just turn the knob goddamn it.
Apply some shaving cream. No you won’t make it, nor handcraft it nor pick it from the freshest cream-trees growing on the purest mountain tops. You’ll go out and buy a can that reads “shaving cream” on the label. Apply cream. Fap, if the mood takes you there, as smearing warm creamy-like substances on your privates might do.
Shave. Apply some pressure. Shit, with most modern razors you can fucking hate-stab yourself with it without drawing blood. If you want to be cautious, start gently and proceed according to how much time you want to invest.
Wash it off, re-apply shaving cream, shave against the grain.
Trim the hair on the border between penis and belly, because no-one likes the “this area has been nuked from orbit” look.
Wash off, endure the itchiness for a day or two.
Play with yourself whenever and however you wish to, without the excuse that it’s somehow a necessarry procedure.
You may have more nicks if you rush TOO much, but any nicks you get will be tiny and won’t hurt or bleed that much. The above is more or less what I do when I’m in a rush, minus the shaving cream.