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Coming to terms with surrendering sex in an otherwise happy marriage(r/sex)
I understand this is really frustrating and upsetting but I really don’t get why your whole sex life has to colaspe just because her PC muscles are less strong. Enjoy the kinds of sex you CAN have and work on the problem together. You still have hands, you still have mouths, there are tons of ways to give and receive pleasure without piv sex.
If she is struggling to get that “full” feeling then consider trying fisting (or just incorporating more fingers). This is an incredibly intimate way to give each other pleasure and the orgasms that occur from this can be REALLY strong. If she’s orgasming more frequently that will strengthen her PC muscles and help her get her pelvic floor tone back.
I don’t think you guys should be so quick to give up on the kegel balls either. I’ve been using the Lelo Luna Balls and I find I get a pretty intense work out with these. They come in different sizes so as she gets stronger she can increase the weight of the balls and move up in size.
There are lots of positions you can try that will naturally make her tighter. Doggy is great for this and if you have her on her back and you put her legs over your shoulders it should make her much tighter. Have her hold a full PC muscle contraction for the time you are pumping inside her. That will allow her to grip your penis tightly and it will make her stronger and increase the power of her orgasm.
I wouldn’t give up yet, go to a pelvic floor physiotherapist and in the meantime find other ways to enjoy sex. Sex is so much more then piv sex, you can still be intimate without it until you get this worked out.