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Someone is stealing packages off of my porch. What is the best “F*ck You” response to this?(r/AskReddit)
Make a cheap security system
Make all packages require a signature.
Have your crap delivered to work. I’m sure your boss will understand.
Follow the tracking number and call in sick on the delivery date. Patiently wait for the package to be delivered in a ghillie suite under your porch. When the perpetrate arrives, taser the hell out of him and lock him in your shed, grab his wallet, find his home address, and mercilessly butcher his family with a hatchet…then drown him in the blood of his loved ones.