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What’s a conspiracy theory that you can make up, but sounds convincing?(r/AskReddit)
Posted this elsewhere before, but here it goes:
OK so bear with me here but I’ve got a theory regarding the red cross. Mind you this is absolutely NOT TRUE at ALL and I in NO WAY believe any of it but it’s just kind-of funny to think about. This is also super long but I’m bored and waiting for some pork to marinade so screw it.
So, when you go into the red cross to give blood there’s usually a very good amount of people in there also giving blood. Like it’s pretty packed whenever I give blood, and they call me almost weekly cuz of my O blood type. But take a second and think about how many people you know who have ever had to be given blood through a transfusion, due to injury, medical condition or what have you. I know personally, maybe one person who has been in a bad enough accident that would require a blood transfusion… Odd isn’t it? there are always people giving blood and the red cross says they never ever ‘have enough’… VAMPIRES.
So around the late 1800s, vampires began to notice that technology was far outpacing their ability to remain hidden amongst the population. They began to get scared that soon the non-dead human race would have enough power to exterminate the vampires for eternity.
The weaponry was getting too advanced. Fighting vampires with stakes or a shitty musket would be pretty difficult. But add pistols and machine guns and all sorts of new weaponry and that kind-of evens the odds.
Communication was getting more and more advanced. If your town was attacked by a vampire in the 1700s you’d what… write a letter to your constable? But by the end of the 1800s with telegrams and such, communicating and verifying a vampire threat would be relatively easy and quick.
So in 1881, the vampires of the US got together and decided to create “The Red Cross”. Pretty ingenious, the name is pretty damn innocuous. Who in their right mind would think a name with a ‘cross’ in it (a weakness of vampires) would be a front for a vampire organization. The Vampires, possessing the foresight and planning that comes hand-in-hand with being ageless, saw that they needed to establish an organization that, at some point later on down the line, could gather blood donations in the name of ‘humanitarian aid’ without seeming suspect. LO AND BEHOLD, in 1940, the USA established a nationwide blood collection program, led by OH YOU GUESSED IT: the red cross
I think my job here is done. If you don’t hear from me by tomorrow the vampires have come to silence me.
edit: for all those asking about the pork, it was top notch. i used my favorite marinade, Chiavetta’s, which always comes through.